Falling in Love. Animus and Anima.
According to Jung’s way of thinking there is, inside every woman the image of the perfect man and inside every man the image of the perfect woman. He called these psychological energies the animus and anima. Animus is the Latin word for soul in it’s masculine form and anima is the feminine form of the word. Therefore the anima is the woman inside the man. These are powerful energies in the psyche. Because a man develops as a man the feminine side of his nature does not develop to the same extent. This feminine aspect of his psyche remains unconscious in the first half of life. This image he has will be coloured to a large extent by his mother and other females he encounters early in life. But now as an adult he meets a woman with a particular attribute that is like his mother and he may project his image of the perfect woman on this lady. In other words, the image and the energy associated with it, that was until now unconscious and not available to him in his every day life, is now available to him but through the person on whom he has projected this image. He is in love. The beloved has given him a new life, a new energy, but in truth it is his own energy he is in touch with through her. When she is not there, he is cut off from that energy and suffers. He was not suffering before, but once he has made contact with the energy of his own anima he is at a loss when it is taken away from him. When she is gone he feels that he has lost part of himself and that is true. His access to his own anima is gone. The attribute that forms a hook for this projection in the first place is not usually a physical quality but a psychological one. If his mother is a gentle person he may be drawn to the gentleness of a woman. If the relationship works it is because she has also been drawn to some quality in him that reminds her of her father. There are many other factors that come into this relationship but I am trying here to give a very basic idea of the dynamics involved.
Now we have two people who are in love. As this relationship progresses both people will become more conscious and their anima and animus will come into consciousness. In other words they will begin to own the qualities that they projected on their partner. The very qualities that they were drawn to in their partner now become to some extent their own qualities and their need for the other can become less. However, because they have become more conscious they are less needy and their love can and in nearly all cases does progress to a more giving love. They sometimes will think they are not in love but in fact they are just as in love as in the beginning. In the beginning, the sudden contact with the energy of the anima or animus feels abnormal, exhilarating, but 10 years later they are still functioning at that energy level or higher but it does not now feel abnormal. This is a very simple description of the animus and anima and there is much more to be said about it. But it should also be said that you do not have to be in a marriage or a live in situation with a woman or man to experience the effects of the anima or animus. We all get anima and animus energy from other men and women. What is important is that as we go through life our animus or anima becomes more conscious and that we develop and to some extent understand out own femininity or masculinity and the qualities associated with them I am not experienced enough to give a good explanation for same sex relationships and this theory. I refer you to a book Jung, Jungians and Homosexuality by Robert Hopcke Sandplay and any therapy that looks at the inner world helps in this task and seems to be very helpful for people who have become cut off from this energy for one reason or another.